


Hard

by tornyourdress



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:47:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24443086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tornyourdress/pseuds/tornyourdress
Summary: "It's harder than they realise, me living in the house with them."
Relationships: Tara Maclay/Dawn Summers, Tara Maclay/Willow Rosenberg
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	Hard

**Author's Note:**

> Written/set during early s6.

It's harder than they realise, me living in the house with them. I know there has to be someone there to take care of me, but it's tough - especially at night. I hear them in bed together, those moans coming from the bedroom that used to be my mom's when it's so late at night they figure I've got to be asleep.

When I hear them, I listen intently. I can't help but wonder what they're doing. I mean, what exactly the mechanics of it are, what they do. We were taught about the birds and bees in school but no one ever explained what you do in bed if you're not straight.

I think about it, though. I imagine Tara doing whatever it is she does to Willow to me. I imagine her hands sliding in between my legs and touching me in a way that no one ever has before but that I know feels good. I tried doing it myself, one night when fantasising wasn't enough for me. My fingers weren't the same, though. I imagined it was her, but it wasn't good enough, and I was left feeling empty and yearning for more.

Sometimes it drives me crazy. I watch them in the mornings, at breakfast. Tara will kiss Willow lightly, softly, and it's not a big dramatic event but I notice it and wish it was me. If she ever touches me, it feels amazing. She might stroke my hair a little, in an affectionate way, and I want to scream out that I want more, that I need more.

But it's pointless. She's got a serious girlfriend, and I know she thinks of me as a little sister figure. Besides, she doesn't even know that I'm - you know. At least, I haven't told her, and if she's picked up on vibes, she hasn't said a word. As far as she's concerned, I think of her as a friend, as one of the people who look after me. That's it. Nothing more.

She doesn't know that I hear them at night and wish it was me with her instead of Willow. She doesn't know that I dream about her every night.

And like everyone else, she doesn't know how hard it is for me to live in a house with her and her girlfriend, and how much it hurts.


End file.
